Sunday, August 9, 2015


My OB scheduled a C section date for me, which he told C and me at the last appointment. September 3. I will be 37w2d. I immediately protested this date as I wanted to wait until 38w at earliest. He would not budge. I still feel disappointed, like the boys won't be as strong as they can be, their latching will suck, etc. by forcing the birth to be that early. I do not like this idea!!!!

I do not like the idea of a C section anyway. I am scared at being cut open. I am scared that I will be stuck in bed because of being in pain. 

I worry that my ability to breastfeed and have skin to skin time will be ruined because of giving birth in the OR. And because the twins are being born at 37w2d.

I am feeling anxiety about everything. That I will die. That one or both babies will die or arrive with severe defects. 

I also worry that because I am sleeping significantly less but not feeling the need to catch-up nap, that menstrual type cramps have started and become more frequent, gaseousness has increased, and that I just feel off, that labor will start soon. And then I will need an emergency C section.

Ahh a lot on my mind and I have always had anxiety issues. I have been getting massages and going to therapy but need to ramp up the frequency. The problem is leaving the house to do these things. I just do not want to sometimes. I am tired. I am sore. I waddle. My feet swell frequently. 


  1. Hi there. I've been following your blog since you found out you were pregnant right around the same time I did (I'm 33w2d today) after also experiencing infertility. I also dealt with anxiety before getting pregnant, so naturally, pregnancy has just made it worse! I just wanted to encourage you to be strong and brave for your little boys. They need their mama to be tough right now! If you have trusted your doctor up to this point, try to keep trusting that he has their and your best interests in mind. From what I understand, breech deliveries are very risky, so maybe the C section at 37w2d really is what's best for them. Don't be afraid to ask questions or even to ask again if you can wait a couple more days. But try to be brave. You can handle this. :)

    1. Hi. Thank you so very much for the encouragememt. It really helps to hear from someone who knows what it's like to deal with anxiety and infertility. Because you are objective yet empathetic, which is what I need right now. And you're right - I need to be brave, and logical to be the best mom possible. Thank you again. And I want to wish you good luck with your pregnancy, as well.

  2. I'm gonna play devil's advocate and say...I don't think you're being overly anxious at all. Your fears are based on statistical facts.

    That being said, your ob works for you not the other way around. If five days make such a significance, why not 37w0d? If he doesn't budge, the solution is very simple. Don't show up to the hospital. Worst case he "fires" you and then you get a stranger delivering your babies, but I can't imagine it being that much worse than someone who seems to not care about your wishes. Who knows, maybe he has a vacation planned and wants to do it earlier for that reason.

    Also, I know you've probably heard it a thousand times but babies can turn even at the last second, and there are plenty of things to try in the meantime. I would not even remotely agree to the c/s until you're in active labor and an ultrasound is done to check the position and most of the time, you only need one head down.

    The way I'm feeling now, I can't imagine you going longer than me but I do know someone who carried twins to 41 weeks and had them vaginally.

    1. I agree, I probably wouldn't even last until 38 weeks. And definitely requesting an ultrasound!