23 weeks

I had my second anatomy scan last week at 22w1d. Baby A went from breech to vertex during the scan but I could not feel any of the movement. He was 1 pound 3 ounces and had a heart rate of 152 bpm. Baby A was transverse/vertex (diagonal) still facing my spine and weighed 1 pound with a heart rate of 129. The size difference has widened to 16% which is still within the acceptable limits but concerns me somewhat, as does this very large difference in heart rates. I now feel Baby B is at risk of dying since his heart rate and growth rate are slowing down and I cannot feel him move hardly ever.

Speaking of movement, at 21 weeks it has changed from vibrations/light touches to bubbles. Well, bubbles that build but do not burst. Probably not a good description but it's the best comparison I can make. There's no discernible pattern to the movement. 

The MFM said it is fine to have intercourse so I am choosing to listen to him rather than my OB on this one. Especially since I feel great and my cervix has lengthened to 4.1 cm. Sometimes I actually believe things will be ok and I can have live babies. Then other times I think of the growth divergence or a multitude of other calamities and get scared again. Either way, I'm not nearly as connected as other pregnant women. I never rub my belly, talk to them, and have not named them all to maintain distance. 

But I do still move forward with preparations, mainly because I am a type A planner and want to get everything settled early-ish in case of premature labor. Childbirth and labor, child care, breastfeeding and infant CPR classes have been signed up for. Baby shower invitations have been made and sent. Baby registry has mostly been completed (whew! how very overwhelming it is). Baby swings, car seats, walkers, high chairs, etc have made their way into the home. Getting there slowly and damn there is so much to do to welcome these little ones into the world.