Monday, December 28, 2015

I Need to Relax

I know I need to relax more about things with the boys. But it is hard. I know when the moms are around I overreact about things. Like when my MIL forgets to take off her shoes when going into the nursery. Part of me is screaming inside, you are tracking dirt on to their rug that they play on, you fucking filthy pig! Another part of me is saying, at least she is helping, a little dirt won't kill them. But I still find myself getting angry. I usually do not say anything unless they are really fucking things up, like when they started playing with the boys as I am trying to encourage them to nap. Ummm why else would they be in a swing? Geez!

Maintaining a household with twins while working outside the home is hard. It is exhausting. It requires utmost efficiency or things will fall apart. That is why when I expect to be gaining time because a mom has offered to grocery shop, I get super pissed when you forget to buy the essential freezer bags that were in your hand but you accidentally put back on the shelf because you got a phone call and got distracted. Because now I have to re-allot time to get the bags. And a half hour trip to the grocery store just to buy one thing is infuriating. 

I know I need to relax more, go with the flow, since when they come to visit they want to help. I also think subsequent visits will go smoother since the moms will be more experienced taking care if the boys and learning our systems. 

C and I have always made a good team, and luckily, that is still the case. He knows at what moment in the morning he needs to start getting a baby dressed, and when I finish feeding the first baby, the second one appears with magical timing. We have even been finding time to work out together. We lift weights in our living room twice a week while the boys nap or look on at us with delight. We try and play tennis once during the weekend, and the last time the boys chilled in the stroller for an hour just watching birds and joggers! Hopefulky it is a new habit of theirs. 

And, we finally had sex! I was very tight and it was rather painful, but no bleeding and it was still enjoyable. I guess since we have no one to babysit yet we will be destined to have quickies for awhile but hopefully we can make it a regular thing. 

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