Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Managing the Anxiety

Yesterday was 5 weeks/21 dpo and I had a beta. The RE had me going crazy by calling me about 45 minutes after the usual time. I started thinking that something was wrong and they were drawing straws to see who had to make the shitty calls.

Alas, finally got the call and the level was 3,650. A doubling time of 42.05 hours, a slight slowdown compared to previous beta of 39.64 hours. Still seems to be in an acceptable range so I am trying to celebrate that. 

An ultrasound is scheduled for next Wednesdsy afternoon the 28th. I asked if we could schedule it sooner, but they do not like to perform a scan sooner than 6 weeks because a heartbeat often cannot be detected before then which causes people to freak out.

That is me already. Last time, I was at 3,700 the week before the fateful ultrasound. It was also on a Wednesday. This time I am in an eerily similar situation and this haunts me. 

This is going to be a long week. I am going to acupuncture tonight, tomorrow I am going to a basketball game, and I will be filling up my weekend with as much distractions as possible. Just trying to avoid being alone with my racing thoughts and remind myself that every pregnancy is different. But it sure as hell is not easy. And I know with PCOS the rate of miscarriage is high. 


  1. Oh my goodness our ultrasounds are the same day! Remember the higher the beta, the more doubling slows down. And pcos really blows. I did this whole egg quality boosting program before my retrieval, didn't overstim or trigger early, and obviously most of my eggs are crap. I read some studies that say miscarriage in pcos is caused by aneuploidy from excess testosterone or by a progesterone deficiency due to wonky LH ratio which affects progesterone production in the corpus luteum. But don't quote me.

    1. I can't believe our ultrasounds are the same day!! I hope you don't have to wait in tirture until the afternoon like I do.

      Good point about the doubling rare. Thank you. I need all the reassurances and sanity I can get at this point. I am literally bursting at the seams with anxiety.