Monday, April 6, 2015

15w6d and Infertility/Loss Brain Strikes Again

Uhh why can't I be a normal giddy pregnant lady? I was playing the part so well these last few weeks. NT scan and genetic bloodwork had gone well, home Doppler kept confirming the presence of two live babies, and the excitement of others knowing and finding out the genders swept me along. 

Even the bladder pressure and pain felt one to two weeks ago did not deter my happiness. Though no infection was found in the urune, the doctor checked my cervix and uterus and pronounced me normal. I left the office and did not give these symptoms a second thought.

Allowed myself to send invitations to our gender reveal party and pin a shitload of nurseries during our babymoon. Told strangers, even. 

Arrived at work today and my coworker shared with me the warning signs her sister had before her incompetent cervix went haywire, almost killing her twins. (I had asked her to ask, by the way.) Made me start thinking more about this. Maybe the pain and pressure in my bladder was an early warning sign. Maybe the discharge I feel all the time, that general sense of wetness, is amniotic fluid slowly seeping out. And all I have this week is a stupid check to see if the heartbeat is there and a blood test for Spina Bifida. No ultrasound until two weeks from now.

I know when I mentioned incompetent cervix before no one thought it was a concern. But a lot could have changed since twelve weeks. They don't know how my cervix looks. What do I do? Demand an ultrasound? Mention my symptoms of course, but they don't seem concerned. 

I'm just scared because I'm entering the danger zone. Incompetent cervix could fail without much notice, without strong, definitive symptoms. I'm scared. 


  1. They measure my cervix every scan. Mine went from 3cm at 6 weeks to 6 cm at 12 weeks so it can lengthen too. But I wouldn't know if I hadn't requested my records. I also feel like the discharge is fluid or blood. It's something you never get over after miscarriage I guess.

  2. They measure my cervix every scan as well. The problem is they don't scan too often. They don't scan every OB visit. I will start advocating this as I move into this high risk window. But good to know about it lengthening. Never even considered that.