Thursday, January 15, 2015


I'm pregnant. Actually waited til 14 dpo to test per the doctor's instructions because I was just so convinced it would be negative. Besides fucking bloating and ovary pain from OHSS at that point all I felt was nipple pain and cramps, which are  premenstrual symptoms for me. 

Also, a lot of diarrhea (like almost every time after I eat) this past week which I assume is attributable to OHSS.

Anyway, beta yesterday at 15 dpo was 324 and progesterone was 55. A stronger start than last pregnancy, but that pregnancy had appropriately rising betas til the first ultrasound. (I need to not compare this pregnancy with that one, but easier said than done). So, having been through a loss, and then infertility, I am so scared this good news will end shortly and I will be even more destroyed than last time. 

I will probably lose some readers, and I understand completely. I have been in a place where I stopped following blogs at the time a pregnancy was announced. I hope some will stay and support me, because pregnancy after loss and infertility is scary. I do not plan on making this a froofy pregnancy or mommy blog. I plan on occasionally reporting numbers and mainly my fears and my reflections through pregnancy as an infertile woman. Because that is who I am and always will be. A woman who struggles (possibly struggled) with infertility. 


  1. OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU'RE PREGNANT!? Just saw that in your post to SecondVoice. I can't even! YAYYYYYYY ... yes it's normal to be worried because of your previous loss. Remember that it doesn't mean you will go thorough it again.Try to keep your chin up and Congrats.

    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement and congratulations. It IS a daily struggle to be positive, but it is easier to do so with great support. So thank you once again.