14w2d

The news is out at work. My boss' boss kept asking me if everyone knew yet and I was afraid of being outed so I decided to start telling people. People were very excited for me. I have been open to some about the miscarriage and fertility struggles leading up to this conception. Even when people asked if the twins are a result of fertility treatment I have readily admitted to it. I am kind of surprised at how comfortable I am sbout this, and a bit sad that I could not be before. 

I am getting so much attention at work from this pregnancy and it is overwhelming at times. I am not one who likes attention in settings like work, anyway, and I cannot be excited or connected the way people expect. Plus, I still feel the doom of incompetent cervix hanging over me so until I pass that stage, I cannot fully embrace that I will have healthy babies in my arms in September.

It is in a way auspicious that my coworkers found out when they did, because literally the next day my belly popped. And I finally bought some new clothes that display the bump and are more comfortable. Dresses and high waisted skirts are the best right now. 

My physical complaints are the pain/pressure in my left rib at night (better than last week and alleviated mostly by using a blanket to prop up that side) and dry itchy skin between my breasts. Daily coconut oil did not help but I think Vaseline might finally be the cure. I believe I now have a bladder infection because I have pain in that area when I stand or walk, and worse when I pee. And after I pee - torture!!!! Went to the OB today but their test only showed elevated white blood cells so they will not prescribe antibiotics until after infection is confirmed by the lab - tomorrow. So things will suck until tomorrow afternoon. 

C and I are meeting up with one of the ladies from my infertility support group and her husband this weekend. Our first time since I became pregnant. I have not told her it is twins since she only once asked about the pregnancy and the convo was not in the direction of mentioning twins. But since I am showing more than someone at my stage I am wondering if I should tell her in advance so she is not surprised by the belly. Or I could wear a frumpy T-shirt. Not sure yet what I will do. 

Tuesday is our elective gender ultrasound 

and I am excited. The first excitement I have really felt thus far. Hope to feel more of it once I see the twins again and personify them a bit more.